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Sophie revised her will and signed it in Paris on June 27, 1850. In her last years, she reflected on her life and what she had done. She looked back over her past, not as a superior general, but as Sophie Barat, the individual person. She regreted that she had been very severe and demanding of herself and others. When we say this, do not jump to the conclusion that she was always like this. Sophie was like a double-sided coin, loving and caring but at the same time harsh and direct.
Even though she was aging rather quickly, Madeleine Sophie went to confession everyday with Fr. Jurines. She had arranged to go to him each morning before the community Mass. This was a way for Sophie to unburden herself of the strict childhood she had known with her brother, Louis. He was a Jansenist. Jansenism teaches that God is always finding imperfections in you. (Sophie later abandoned this form of belief). Louis had forced Sophie to tell him her sins everyday. It was quite painful for her. Sophie beleived in a God of Love not of fear. The confession sessions with Fr. Jurines were very peaceful for Sophie and were a way for her to become more content with dying and herself.
Sophie took advantage of the warm weather in May and spent most of her time in the garden under her favorite tree. Sometimes children from the Junior School would come and visit her. Sophie was staying at the mother-house in Paris during this time. On the morning of May 22nd, 1865, Sophie was enjoying a wonderful breakfast until she complained of pain in her head. Sophie took a short rest in her bed, thinking that it would go away. That was not to be. Sophie had experienced a stroke and slipped into a coma. She finally died in her sleep on May 24th, 1865. She would forever be remembered as a courageous woman who devoted her life solely to God.
~"Let us be like the swan. When it is dying it gathers all its inner forces and sings with more harmony than ever before in its life. That is how saints die. It is the purest act of their life the one most burning with love, the most perfect."~ This quote is attributed to Sophie when she thought that she was facing death. She wrote this to a friend who was also dying. Sophie went on to live another twenty years. (Phil Kilroy's book )
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